But, but, but

Blog Article/Post Caveat (Read First Please: Click the Link)

But, I have rights shouts the individual who wants to be protected from conflict and violence when told to change the way they do things to remain safe and secure. 

It has been said, it has been written and it has been spoken that many of those who take up karate and martial arts for defense don’t really want to defend themselves but want to feel like they are safe by taking karate and/or martial arts. Then the practice turns into a social club where everyone compares themselves to others in a more egoistic status seeking way. “Let’s got CLUBBIN at the dojo tonight my friends!”

Marc MacYoung eloquently puts out what rights really are and we do have rights but with all rights in a social setting, they have limits. Forcing your idea of a right and expecting others, like predators like, to respect those rights is just plain stupid. 

Taking up karate and martial arts for self-defense is great as long as you make the choice and decision that you will take all of the responsibility of self-defense on your own shoulders without dependency on others to step in for you. It is your life and your liberty, do you really expect and want others to take care of protecting that for you?

• First, you have to know what your rights are, what they really are and not what you think they are or rather what you “feel” are your rights.
• Second, you have to decide to take responsibility for YOU>
• Third, you have to understand what conflict and violence are and how they manifest in a huge array of situations, environments and cultures to name just a few. 
• Fourth, you have to give yourself permission to act, FOR YOURSELF, when conflict and violence appear. 
• Fifth, you have to know, understand and develop the type of coping skills necessary to face conflict and violence. Yes, it is dangerous and uncomfortable but more so if you bury your head in the sand and expect, no DEMAND, that others provide you protection while you go about expecting your view of your rights to continue.
• Sixth, you have to learn how to communicate, not just argue and yell and become verbally aggressive when others disagree or counter your views and expectations. Communications is two parts listening and one part verbalizing with the listening actively part dominating the verbalization. 
• Seventh, you will have to compromise - compromising is a corner stone to effective coexistence in social situations. You have to be willing to compromise even your realistic rights and ignore the emotions that say otherwise. 
• Eighth, when you can do all the above then you are ready to begin to learn self-defense, the complete and comprehensive self-defense of reality and not just the trauma-drama-emotionally driven gratifying ways currently taught as self-defense. 
• Ninth, you have to develop emotional maturity because life out there is going to ignore your so called rights and will not be kind to your self-aggrandizing indignations shouted out from the top of your lungs.
• Tenth, remember, compromise and a win-win scenario is NOT achieved by the person who shouts the loudest and violates your personal space the most. It comes from a connection between parties where both actively listen, communicate effectively and leave the monkey brain antics outside the door. 
• Finally, not comprehensive or even complete, finally - grow the fuck up. 

If you cannot achieve emotional maturity, if you cannot accept your responsibility for the dangers the world presents and if you cannot dedicate your efforts toward the complete way of karate, martial arts and self-defense then don’t waste your time - go a clubbin at your local McDojo, have a burger and fries then do your kata dance with your friends to the music of Ronald.

Bibliography (Click the link)