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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Hostility Loop


Hostility, passed on, comes right back at you and becomes still more hostility that has to have somewhere to go.

When you express hostility toward people, they are likely to express hostility back. That will make you even more hostile and start you round the loop again, with each person's negativeness feeding the loop and provoking more of the same. 

If hostility turned inward is allowed to simmer inside you long enough, you will pass it along to someone else - often someone who had nothing to do with it "until you decided to use them as a hostility dump!"

Fear can lead to anger. Anger is always expressed as hostility. Hostility is always contagious which is expressed with more hostility. It is a continuous self propagating loop of escalating anger + hostility. DEAL with the emotion, just the emotion.

Leave the underlying trigger until the "logical problem-solving" part of the brain is released from the emotion and the resulting chemical (adrenaline) dump so the "true issue" can be resolved. 

As long as emotions are involved nothing will be fixed. Stop the loop, address only the emotions, i.e. anger+hostility first, then after time for Emotional-Clarence and Ventilation we can have an open-minded, honest and loving discussion. 

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