Why

It suddenly occurred to me, “Why do I have this fascination with MA, SD and Conflict/Violence?” Yes, you would have thunk that maybe I would have addressed this question at one time or another but those questions were more in line with, “Why do I practice a martial art?” or “Why do you know about violence and why?” type questions and those do no really address the question of fascination or maybe a better term would be “obsession.” 

I think this can be a very complicated question with an even more complicated answer given any great thought toward it. I am actually giving it free reign while I type my thoughts because, for me, that is sometimes a really good way to find out what I truly think. Maybe more of a feeling rather than a thought. 

I suspect that it is because we as humans are evolving but until we actually reach that level we are still tied closely to conflict and violence. I am actually of the feeling that we, as humans, will never truly disassociate ourselves from conflict and/or violence. We are tied to them as a normal human condition and humans cannot associate socially without either as that is part and parcel to human communications (maybe this is why Mr. Miller and Mr. MacYoung call what they do “Conflict Communications?”).

In addition, at the start, it was about an ability to defend myself as a youngster. First in my pre-teens against a bully then again against bullies in junior high and then high school. You know, much like many of us remember but of course my situation was “special ;-)” Then, to continue that need to fill that need I went on the join the Marines, to become a professional warrior defending my way of life. Then it became about how to use my body to its absolute best in combatives. Then it became about handling more civilian violence of which I actually had a few situations that self-confirmed my needs. (Note: I didn’t really begin to understand just how self-confirming my actions were until the last ten years but I was always a bit late on the uptake)

Now, it has become a means to self-improve while connecting to my natural tendency, as all humans, toward conflict and violence. Actually, now that I think of it, these last nineteen years searching out the truth of our human condition for the purpose of MA and SD has actually taught me more about humans and living without actually succumbing to conflict and violence (Note: when I say this it is with tongue in cheek cause I realize that almost all we do as humans with other humans comes from the application of conflict resolutions and violent encounters of the mild kind, etc. yadda yadda yadda)

I think you get the picture. Along with my having, at one time, a violent sometimes raging temper (of which this study has provided me the knowledge and therefore the tools to get a handle on that monkey shit) the need to know about and deal with conflict and violence has resulted in a more Zen like attitude that seems to fit or inter-connect with the philosophy we westerners associate with the study of MA. 

Anyway, this is “why” I do what I do. It is not often known and I would not normally present this side of me to folks simply because of their societal mind-washing toward violence is bad, violence must be avoided, violence must be wrong types will find me a bit more “wrong.” Anyway, think what you will cause I can tell you now that I am a kitten compared to some cause there are some that make my life look like a walk in the park and those guys know other guys who scare the piss out of them. 

Conclusion: there are many who are just plain blind and ignorant about what humans are instinctually and naturally. On the grading of humans on conflict and violence say from 1 to 100, I am maybe a .25 (that is a point or period 25) when others sit around 50 or 75 with a few that exceed 100. Go figure. (note: just my conclusion and only one of them)