Respect Does Not Mean

Respect does not mean that one has to lay down and just let anything and everything go unquestioned. I have a lot of respect for those who came before me, those who taught me and those who still teach both physically and electronically and via media and so on. Respect is about something you give freely to another for a variety of reasons but it does not mean you cannot question what the person says, does, writes, produces and/or teaches. 

Respect comes from seeing one as something special to the person convey said respect while knowing they are human and fallible, just as fallible as anyone else. If you fail to question a person of respect then you are not actually respecting them as a person. Experts and masters often earn the respect of their students and practitioners and they will truly respect those experts and masters as long as they continue to do so in a way that allows both sides of that coin to learn and grow and prosper - that takes an exchange of information both ways, from the lower end to the upper end and from the upper end to the lower end. That is how folks build mutual respect.

If I were never questioned, I would lose respect for those who failed to question because questions, answers and the free exchange of knowledge through discussion is how one builds respect - thus knowledge and experience. 

Maybe I am a bit naive but respect such as I have observed over the years in MA circles seems to come from some misguided understanding that to be a traditional system of MA you have to do and not question Sensei, Senpai or Masters. That is just plain stupid. It is also egoistic and prideful to assume that anyone who is not at your perceived level cannot question because they have not achieved a level such as yours is also just plain stupid and it stinks of a total lack of self-esteem and often undermines a wrongful perception of the Sensei, Senpai or Master. 

I, personally, feel inadequate in MA and especially in SD circles. I expect those who have different perceptions, perspectives and knowledge to comment and question the things I perceive, belief and present. I only grow from the input and exchange from others. To assume that I am the all knowing and all able MA and SD person is ludicrous and just plain stupid. 

There are many who I admire for their efforts, experiences and knowledge but I still question them at least on area’s I am curious or in need of learning to facilitate what I know and understand. There are those who are so far in front of me that I seek out their input because I already have a good deal of respect for the path they chose and are on. I am pleased and often excited when they provide me comments and feedback because that helps me grow and prosper so why is it that so many Masters, Experts, Sensei and so on become brash, convey contempt and disgust and often criticize those who follow when they ask questions or discuss discourse on what they teach, etc.?

Maybe my expectations and naivety are that I expect so much from others and that I am disappointed when those who lead tend to be less than what I had expected. Even then, I find that within what they provide regardless still have gems that when dug out and expanded in research and study still provide growth and potential. 

Respect does not mean those respected should be put on a pedestal and vilified as something special for they are not and they are expected to lead as leaders, not gods or dictators. Don’t be blinded by respect given and don’t be obstructed by the respect you receive for you are still human and fallible till death. 

p.s. lets add in one more thought, if you wanted to earn respect does it mean you have to first, find out what criteria others will expect to gain their respect? What if that criteria is abhorrent to what you figure or feel respect criteria should be? What does that say as to your personal expectations to earn and have others respect? Can you actually justify gaining respect from others if that criteria is not perceived by others outside those who give that type of respect as “Respect?” Sigh