Coping Skills

Caveat: Please make note that this article/post is my personal analysis of the subject and the information used was chosen or picked by me. It is not an analysis piece because it lacks complete and comprehensive research, it was not adequately and completely investigated and it is not balanced, i.e., it is my personal view without the views of others including subject experts, etc. Look at this as “Infotainment rather then expert research.” This is an opinion/editorial article/post meant to persuade the reader to think, decide and accept or reject my premise. It is an attempt to cause change or reinforce attitudes, beliefs and values as they apply to martial arts and/or self-defense. It is merely a commentary on the subject in the particular article presented.

This article is mine and mine alone. I the author of this article assure you, the reader, that any of the opinions expressed here are my own and are a result of the way in which my meandering mind interprets a particular situation and/or concept. The views expressed here are solely those of the author in his private capacity and do not in any way represent the views of other martial arts and/or conflict/violence professionals or authors of source materials. It should be quite obvious that the sources I used herein have not approved, endorsed, embraced, friended, liked, tweeted or authorized this article. (Everything I think and write is true, within the limits of my knowledge and understanding. Oh, and just because I wrote it and just because it sounds reasonable and just because it makes sense, does not mean it is true.)

“Coping skills are those skills that we use to offset disadvantages in day to day life. Coping skills can be seen as a sort of adaptation, such as the finely tuned hearing that many visually impaired people develop. Coping skills can be positive or negative. Positive coping skills help us get through situations at nearly the same level as those who do not have the disadvantage. Negative coping skills, however, may provide short-term relief or distraction, but ultimately worsen our disadvantage.” Lisa Fritscher, Phobias Expert. at About Health http://phobias.about.com/od/glossary/g/copingskillsdef.htm

When we end up in a fight I wonder how often it comes down to adequate coping skills. I realize, fundamentally, in the SD community that it is attributed to falling prey to the monkey dance (speak of the predominant social conflict/violence paradigm). I would ask if the monkey is about not have adequate coping skills? Is taming the monkey brain about learning and using coping skills?

If I look closely at the definition about I believe I can attribute a lot of monkey taming to acquisition of coping strategies, tactics and methods. Isn’t this a goal in our training and practice of martial disciplines for self-defense? I am just trying to connect the dots. 

One personal example I can present is one where I have to deal with a person with Obsessive Compulsive behaviors (note: not sure behaviors is the right term here). My frustrations and resentments went very high until I ran across some information that explained how it works for the OCPerson. That knowledge lead to understanding and finally the ability to cope and handle that so its effects, etc., didn’t make for continued stress, frustration and resentment - all emotionally triggers that could and did make for monkey mania. 

Now I have to wonder if teachers/instructors consider these types of issues and then create training that extends past the martial techniques toward a more robust “Conflict Communications” that would allow better strategies and tactics aimed at avoidance and/or deescalation?

Bibliography (Click the link)