Why It Worked

The mysterious question of the decade or millennia. Then you have to ask, "why it did not work?" The answer, which by the way I don't have, is not to be trusted. To trust an answer is to be absolutely sure of its validity when in self-defense you really have to trust what you know and can do but not trust that it will work or not work depending on the present moment circumstances.

What works and what does not work is about the individual, i.e. that persons experiences, perceptions, cultural influences and beliefs. If you truly believe you "must" turn the other cheek you are going to get hurt or even killed in "some" circumstances. Belief systems are very powerful. Rory Miller speaks to "permission" in some of his works. You have to give yourself permission to act properly especially in self-defense - violence, etc. Just my opinion here but I believe he is more often right then not right - right and not right are not the best descriptive words here either. Maybe it is about what works or does not work for him vs. what works for me and what does not work for me - or you or them, etc.

Isn't this the crux of many issues regarding self-defense? How does a person know what is being taught will work or not work? I mean, even if it is a good, solid and more often than not a thing that works, how do you know it will at any given moment? Even the best of us in self-defense or combatives with the best training and practice possible may find one day something worked wonderfully then another day the same thing failed. This is not the first discussion on this subject but worth going back to again and again and again. 

I often think to myself what if and would I act properly if the "what if" occurred. I remember instances in my past, youthful times, when my reactions seemed adequate, relevant and they worked for me, at that moment but would I still act or react that way today? Especially since I am not training that way anymore or my training is not relevant toward those goals anymore. 

When I contemplate those past events it tells me my instincts tend to go in the right direction when threatened. Maybe it is about acting or reacting adequately before my mind can chime in and tell me how stupid I am being, you know that faster than light Monkey brain shit that sometimes becomes your doubting Thomas (or is it the human brain or lizard or all three). 

I guess maybe it is more about refusing to even ask these types of questions and then ignoring them in training and practice because your mind tells you it won't work or maybe your only experience with it was when it did not work so you discard it as a waste when in reality it has proven time and again to work, mostly and you just had a bad day that day. How do you find out these things and make sure you are not "lying to yourself" for some Lizard/Monkey driven reasoning. 

Why it worked and why it didn't work are important considerations. I believe the professionals use their "after action" discussions to determine things like this and I wonder if this is taught in self-defense courses as well as all that other good stuff. 

Then how far do you take this because you don't want to erode/undermine confidence, etc. What is the balance point where you still benefit but don't make yourself a doubting Thomas. You don't want to go the other direction either where your over confidence leads to relying on things that will not work. 

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :-)

Facts, Just the Facts Ma'am..... Joe Friday, Dragnet

In my mind there are no sources that are absolute. The human ingredient is always going to introduce some personalizations, perceptions, culture and beliefs of the author even tho they work diligently to remain unbiased as to what they write. The scientific studies of the Human kind are also flawed as it is impossible to remove that human factor from research as such. 

This is why my philosophy has become one of caution and continued research. This is why my philosophy is that what ever facts or historical data I might promote is and should be taken as flawed. This is why my philosophy is to find the data, data-mining, and then find other sources that corroborate what you have gathered and learned. Even so, my philosophy is to keep the mind open to the possibilities that what I have may be inaccurate or just plain wrong and be willing to change accordingly. 

I have a philosophy that if someone or something causes me to immediately jump to "that is not right" I have to say to myself, "STOP, wait, think about this and use Miller's Law." 

When you research some subject you have to enter into the project with an open mind. You have to be willing to change as necessary and you must, must, question everything - over, over and over again. Isn't this the proper way to research articles, papers and published works?

When you become biased as to what you know for reasons that fall into the emotional model then it is even more important you stop and tell yourself that it is the Monkey speaking here and you should push to allow the Human brain do the analysis and such before you put the word to publication. 

When you refuse to allow some other perspective to have its say and you refuse to consider the possible merits of someone else's efforts you other them so you can "feel" safe in your personal beliefs. Isn't this simply allowing the Monkey brain to run the train?

Don't get me wrong, this stuff is difficult. We humans tend to live in the Monkey brain. We tend toward emotional responses simply because nature provided that as a means of survival. Fear, Anger, Love, Empathy all release chemicals into our brains and bodies but our perception of what that is drives how we act and react with a heavy influence of those same chemicals on our senses and mental activities. 

Search, Data-mine, validate and then repeat .... forever. Because to remain steadfast on a belief at any one moment means stagnation and a biased life. This is not what life is about and it is not what martial arts practice are about. 

Breaking the Mold

In a recent posting by Rory Miller, "Out of the Box," he asks a question that has had me thinking for several days not, i.e. "The people looking for books on leadership are not looking for those names." This is about Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder's new book, "Sensei, Mentor, Teacher, Coach." It comes down to what is associated with their names, i.e. martial arts. 

In the martial arts world people who are not in that world tend to make quick assumptions. They see the title with "Sensei" in it then they look it up and find out it is a title for the martial arts and they swing right to the word "karate or MMA or some other martial art" then the assign the title "sport" to it and then move on not pausing long enough to see within the pages more than merely another martial art book. 

This seems in my mind a lot like the martial arts community where we all see the majority of martial arts books as economically driven money makers with little substance then when someone like these two gentlemen as well as a few others put out a book it sometimes gets left in with all the other "stuff."

Take for instance "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense." This series of books would never have come across my radar if not for the books on violence that Rory Miller has published for us. Dr. Suzette Haden wrote them in the eighties and until I read about the book in Rory's bibliography I never heard of her or her work. Then, thinking of the title I almost discarded getting a copy but considering what I had just read in Rory's book I decided to gamble and get a copy. I will never regret it and I have all six of her series and found them of great value. Not just for my martial arts studies but for things both personal and professional in my life, i.e. my personal life at home and my professional life at work (i.e. I don't make a living off of martial arts but work in IT, etc. to make a living). I am still finding out more about myself from those books as well as books like Sensei, Mentor, Teacher, Coach and Conflict Communications.

Now, back to how one would transcend a singular model or mold, i.e. the heading of either "martial arts" or "sports." How to get all those non-martial artists and non-sport activists to read these books. As I stated at the beginning I have been contemplating this for a while since I read it in Rory's blog post. 

Human instinct is about groups and survival. In one group we collect like minded folks together to survive (not literally as in keeping out the lions, tigers and bears). This instinct is strong and to gain access takes a considerable amount of work and luck. Rory in his book ConComm speaks of how new folks enter into a new group at work and perceptions as to that person makes a difference in how they are accepted. He breaks it down into gender (pardon me, but gender does matter even if we consider ourselves both male and female as equals - I do, but still we are different). When a woman connects with a new work group she is expected to do things a certain way. When a man connects with a new work group he is expected to do things a certain way. Both are as different as Mars from Venus. 

Then there is in general how we all have our cultural groups and this seems to me to work the same as to categories of books, movies, etc. If a movie is listed as science fiction and you hate science fiction you are in all likelihood not going to see it. An example is the movie "Salmon Fishing in Yemen." My wife and her friend asked me if I wanted to go see this movie with them. Initially, I read the title and thought to myself, "What the f*&^ would I find in a movie about fishing in Yemen?" Well, I decided that for other reasons I would go with them and worst case scenario get a good nod off in a dark theater. I was very pleased to find out that once I got past that title, got in the theater and the movie began that I was very pleased I came, the movie was a great one. 

This seems to be the issue with books like Mr. Wilder's and Mr. Kane's. The title and the category that the book is listed under pretty much pigeon hole it right in that location where if someone looking for a leadership book just happens to read this post or read a post somewhere else where the topic of leadership, etc. is prominent then maybe that person will do like I did with Dr. Haden's book, get it, read it and then find it of great value even if it is a martial arts book under the misnomer category of "sport." 

I mean if these two gentlemen were actually famous "football or basketball coaches" who wrote a book on their respective disciplines as a book on leadership there is a much greater probability that someone looking for just a leadership book would find these gems. 

Now that I have given my opinionated opinion I can see that the only path toward breaking out of the box these books are put into by publishers that the best way to get this moved into a more mainstream diverse readership is to get someone prominent outside of martial arts and sports who has a reputation in leadership, etc. to promote this with  that category of readers. Like Wim Demeere's blog post, this is a simple answer with a complexity and difficulty level very, very high. There is also "luck."

Personally, when I make recommendations in my library reviews I may sound like I am giving "advice." Unsolicited advice is ofter a "no-no" and often causes the recipient to "shut down" and not listen saying to self, "who the f*&* does this guy think he is?" Another ceiling to break through. 

The only time I believe advice is acceptable is when it comes from authority expert figures who are already well-respected by the masses without barriers. One as an example is "Oprah Winfrey" and her book club. Now, if you got her to read these books and to make a recommendation then the entire world would flood Amazon to purchase a copy. Now, this would be really cool. What is the likelihood? You never know, right. Maybe my suggestion is to see if her book club allows recommendations and then make one that is more generic toward leadership over just "another martial art sport book." 

Who in the leadership community with a wide audience of followers could you contact and possibly get to read a copy and promote it from their end. Does anyone know of such a person and would they consider making the suggestion. After all, there is a series of books that only made it to the best seller list because a publisher just happened to pick up the submission on a lark to read at lunch while waiting for a client, right. This book and the following five followups became a best seller and transcended gender as well as age obstacles and was read by just about everyone. If that submission had been underneath another it may have never been printed (think wizards and a wizard academy ;-).

I know from experience that all these authors who I would recommend to everyone be they martial artists or just a person who wants to find ways to improve who they are already but how to get them to make that purchase is another story as well. 

I have spent at least the last ten years working on improving myself. I am talking about as a martial artists but also as a person. Come on, a good Sensei has to be a good person too. If not, you don't get the good of martial arts, just learn how to dance around, etc. and maybe win a couple of trophies. A good sensei has to have the same principles of leadership as any other discipline. 

I have read only a small part of Mr. Kane's and Mr. Wilder's book so far. I have read almost the entire Conflict Communications book from Rory Miller. I can tell you, personally, there is a lot more than information about martial arts, self-defense and violence in these books as they all are based on some sound foundational fundamental principles that transcend any one discipline. 

Like I profess on fundamental principles of martial systems it is the same with these books, the principles are relevant and important to any endeavor of mankind, of humans and transcend any group, cultural and belief systems. 

If I could get everyone who reads this to go the distance, buy the books and read them with an open mind and then just a few of their friends and their friends would do the same all of them would find benefits beyond what they would normally expect in a book listed in a category that is limiting. 

Anyway, maybe I have some answers here and maybe I don't but I can tell you that their, these authors and others, influences have helped me "see and hear" beyond the cover of the book. I look at the content for value for the category and for outside the category - you just never know. 

Trying to Hard

I remember in the fist year I steadily and diligently practiced my karate. I was, of course, a kyu but I was determined as a Marine can be determined. It was what I was trained to do. This meant that I applied myself with true vigor, determination and focus. What I failed to learn was that all things come and go of their own speed, duration and time. 

I spent time trying to "force" my body, mind and spirit to achieve great things. This was a frustrating thing for me since most things came quickly for me. I had a natural if not awkward physical ability I now attribute to being a "touch sense" person. Then there is the introversion that means in one sense I internalize many things and I do it well. 

Trying to force things faster than natural is incorrect. There is a natural pattern, rhythm and timing for every thing in nature. It is a part of the immutable law of nature some refer to as "yin-yang." There are other names and symbols that identify and describe this natural flow of things. It is like the ebb and flow of the tides, the natural tones and emptiness that expresses music and it is that spiral path that every single thing in the universe follows as naturally as breathing, blinking and thinking. 

What usually happens when you try to force things beyond their natural way is you get calamity and discord. When forced usually something will give way causing that particular thing to fail. 

In martial arts there is a natural flow to everything and that flow is governed by nature and the individuals genetics. Some of us can learn things faster, some slower and some not at all. If you are a bit on the slow side learning things, let that rhythm and flow follow its natural course because in time you will learn everything well. 

Forcing things often also creates ripples in the flow of life and those ripples are usually some repercussions created by that force. Force is power and a power that is misguided usually damages everything within its ranges. 

How I found this rhythm in martial arts was through the time spent in training and practice. I noticed that things would good smoothly until I came to a point that excited me into pushing or forcing my training and practice. I then noticed that things got muddy and I would find myself stuck in one place. I would find that even the things I had already learned well would lose ground as if I were heading backwards. Things like kata suddenly got sloppy and mistakes would come more often and more frequently. I learned later that when I would compensate and push or force my practice harder things got worse. I would get to a point of frustration that I would break away from training for a short period and when I returned I just practiced only to find that suddenly and perceived quickly that it all would fall into place and work. 

What I am trying to say, especially to those just starting out in martial arts, let the natural way of things, both external and internally, go at their own pace, rhythms and patterns. The speed will come naturally as you progress. Don't become impatient and begin to force things for that is how delays and obstacles obstruct progress. You, as an individual, have a natural way that is you and to achieve expertise and mastery you have to follow that path as it twists, turns and winds its way up the mountain. No matter which direction it takes you your patience and perseverance will achieve wonders but try forcing things to get there quicker will only obstruct your progress. 

Contemplate this at your next practice session. Mokuso!

Sensei - Equal Measure

I have written about this in various forms but what it comes down to is balance. I often felt I missed a lot while teaching and now that I spend a good deal of time on just practice I realize what I was missing was the equal measure in teaching and practice. Not the practice and teaching of students but rather the practice and teaching of myself.

I believe, good sensei, tend to spend an exorbitant amount of time dedicated to students and their progress they tend to ignore that one student that is critical to teaching other students - that one student being the sensei. Let me try to clear up the muddy waters here.

When a sensei spends that amount of time on students they miss a lot while at the same time learn a lot from those students. But where it loses is when you learn from the student but fail to spend equal measure on your own studies, practice and training you don't get the full measure of what you are learning.

I believe, now which is better late than never, is a sensei must spend equal time practicing and training on their own with a total and complete focus on their practices, training and studies. If I teach one hour I feel I need to practice and train and study at least one hour physically with another hour mentally and finally one more hour of study - minimum. 

Yes, you are going to read this and say, "I don't have enough time between teaching students and taking care of family, home and work (if you don't earn enough teaching martial arts)!" Well, this is a disservice to you as a sensei and even more so as a teacher. Teachers, in general, have to spend a lot more time studying and taking classes to remain certified to teach our kids so why should a person teaching martial arts (especially for self-defense) get to ignore what they learn and present to practitioners. 

This also presents issues as to knowledge of the sensei. In my thirty-seven years in martial arts I have found many things that were just plain wrong that I learned from my sensei. I also found many things I never learned from sensei that I discovered or learned elsewhere that if I remained simply teaching by ROTE my students would have missed. 

In order to propagate and pass on martial arts to students I feel an obligation to make sure it is always the best and most up to date and relevant teachings possible. Sensei must take equal measure of what they know toward what they teach. Learning is a never ending effort and to neglect your own practice and training for students is depriving those students of the best you can give.

Some will say that they get plenty of practice with students because of the participation they put in but they tend to forget the mental training received from that is different from the mental training they get from a personal effort without the distractions of teaching. You can argue this point saying that one does the other but they don't. The effort and self-analysis of what you do comes from a focus and diligence on you the sensei while teaching is about the student while teaching. 

Yes, you get a lot especially with teaching, training and practicing the more physical aspects but what are you missing. Many of the professionals I follow in their writings tend to still place a lot of emphasis on preparation and that means they are constantly working out things they discover in the dojo, on their own for the purpose of learning and then applying - both in application and teaching applications. 

I also have witnessed other solid and experienced sensei actually stop teaching to focus on the study of martial arts because of this same belief but they too may be losing a source that balances out the study of the arts - the interactions of other professionals and students, etc. 

So, if you teach, spend the equal time practicing on your own for yourself. Your students will appreciate what they get, a fresh perspective each and every time you encounter those students on the dojo floor. 

So goes my personal philosophy on this subject :-)

San-mitsu [三密]

The characters/ideograms mean, "three mysteries to enlightenment; thought, word and deed; three mysteries (Buddha's body, speech and mind)." The first character means, "three," the second character means, "secrecy; density (pop); minuteness; carefulness." 

In martial arts the statement, "the key to enlightenment," precedes individual perceptions as to what it takes to achieve it. The issue with this is that most are individual techniques when in general the truth lies in how that person handles life, i.e. how they think, how they perform deeds and the words they use. Martial arts are a physical discipline, effort and spiritual action necessary to blend the thought, word and deed to effect our physical reality. 

San-mitsu explains how a person can increase the body's energy level and capacity by the practice of a martial art. This is emphasized more in the internal arts of China, i..e Chi Gung and Tai Chi Chuan. It is about utilizing the physical to achieve the mental and spiritual. 

Our physical efforts use and enhance certain frequencies on a molecular level. Words are the expression of our thoughts. When spoken they to have certain frequencies or vibrations. Our physical actions as to deeds and the perceived actions that are to be viewed as putting thought into action on an every day basis are the most obvious, i.e. body language tends to convey true meaning so that words and thoughts are confirmed as one wholehearted way of present moment living. It is how one sets the example over just using words alone. 

San-mitsu is another principle or sub-principle of the foundation we must create on a physical level leading our mental and spiritual toward a more holistic wholehearted approach to martial arts and life.

Prime the Pump

When it comes to historical searches there are a variety of factors that would influence how that history is perceived and it is an individual thing. What is most important is losing any pre-conceived ideas, facts, knowledge, perceptions and current contexts when searching for and analyzing data. Once you enter into a search with pre-conceived thoughts, etc. you subject yourself to biases. It is not uncommon for a searcher to discard true and relevant factual historical data because of these pre-conceived mind-states. If you are interviewing then remember that "how you phrase the question" will also prime the others mind-state toward an answer that may or may not be what you seek. 

It is a bit like the theory with lie detectors (I am not an expert on this but what I state comes from readings, etc. on the subject) that if the tester is primed properly before a test they will be influenced in a biased way leaning toward the primed data when analyzing and interpreting the lie detector data. This holds true for most anything. The mind-state when primed tends to lean heavily toward that data used to prime the pump. 

In order to objectively and without bias receive, analyze and data-mine historical facts you have to prime your own mind-state toward openness, objectivity and open-minded mushi or empty present moment mind to have the ability to "see" beyond your preconceived notions, ideas and biases. 

I use Miller's Law to help me separate the wheat from the chaff in data-mining. When I feel a resistance toward something I come across or are presented with I "try to remember" the law, i.e. "In order to understand what another person is saying, you must assume that it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of." - Dr. George Miller, Psychologist.

Although this quote is directed toward conversations it is also true toward any research you make be it in books, articles or Internet eData searches. If you allow yourself to succumb to preconceived priming of the mind you often will lose important, relevant and historical significant data. Give it a chance. 

Let me close with a quote from a source I respect, "If your monkey/tribal brain is working your human/thinking brain is not. If you are feeling emotion, you are not thinking; that part of your brain is turned off. If it is about who did or said it and not what was said, you are in your tribal brain. If you label anyone, it is a tactic to put that person in another tribe specifically so that you don't have to listen to the content.

People who disagree with you are rarely stupid. If you cannot effectively, compassionately and convincingly argue the other side's point of view, you are the one in your tribal brain. You are the stupid one." - Rory Miller at Chiron Blog "Silly Season"

History and Its Role in Martial Arts

Rekishi [歴史]

The characters/ideograms mean, "history." The fist character means, "curriculum; continuation; passage of time," the second character means, "history; crhonicle."

History: The study of past events, particularly in human affairs. A past characterized by a particular thing. A "continuous, typically chronological, record" of important or public events or of a particular trend or institution.  A chronicle, archive, record, diary, report, narrative, account, study, tale, story, saga; more ....

Fact: A thing that is indisputably the case. A fact is often used in discussing the significance of something that is the case. It is a piece of information used as evidence or as part of a report or news article.  A detail, element, point, factor, feature, characteristic, ingredient, circumstance, aspect, facet, and more ....

A fact is the "truth about events' as opposed to interpretation. This is where history becomes muddy and hard to perceive. When one talks of facts you have a considerable amount of leeway as to perceptions, context, beliefs, cultural influences and a host of other human driven individual perceptions governed by who they are, how they grew up, where they grew up and influences from cultural sources, society of that culture, the culture and belief of their immediate surroundings as that changes or remains fluid through out their lives, etc. 

Facts are subjective to all this and the "fact" that they are not supported by truth about events but rather the interpretation of events also subject to individual or grouped individual influences. Reality is the actual occurrence of an event but the history and facts often degrade as each individual comes in contact with said events "facts." As long as any supposed fact is disputed regardless of the information provided even historically significant documents it comes down to who wrote the history and facts and what influenced them, etc. It can be said that history is written most often by the victors who are biased and will skew history accordingly. This is a fact!

As long as the originator of the event failed to document it properly there will always be discord with context and interpretations as each of us "humans" comes in contact with said events facts and it will always remain in a discussion format about the significance of that persons facts of the event. It is a muddy thing much like the muddy and convoluted context and application of true real life self-defense. 

Without the facts from the person who directly caused the event to occur, not someone as a by-standing participant but the person who caused the creation of the event it is all subjective to interpretations as to individual perceptions, etc. 

Then there is the second and third hand rendition of the historical events. If it was not written down by the actual person experiencing the event, also still subject to memory, perceptions, interpretations and their own life events, etc. then it is subjected to degradation. Human memory is a very funny thing because it changes constantly, even memories of past events, due to current events, experiences and perceptions. They all change constantly and will remain fluid because we are humans. 

To accept such history, facts and perceptions without question dooms a person to fail in keeping the history alive for future studies. Even scientific studies are subject to such things and why they are scrutinized and questioned continuously until the end of time. We tend to revisit bad history because we fail to study all history and facts with an open and questionable oriented mind. Stubbornness is a human fault and frailty. 

Some of history even with witnesses, documentation of witnesses, paintings painted by humans, and historical documentation in word or as today in pictures and video's are subject to fault of the person who took it down due to the same human frailties. To believe is to question and when questions become outlawed because of the belief of one thing, event or even a person then all suffer.

One other point of the many that could be made on this subject. Often in some cultures when confronted by a question that the person asked has no answer of their memory does not fully and completely provide the answer along with the human conditions that often cause a memory to be faulty they will concede to the questioner simply to keep the social interactions in a harmonious state. Some cultures place no importance on the documentation of historical events but place a huge amount of importance of social harmony and will out right provide false responses to maintain the social harmony. When relying on personal memory driven facts many are merely perceptions of the moment. They may seem factual and righteous to that person but when questioned can be found lacking.

Here is the real rub here, this same second and third hand factual historical view can often be accurate and true as well. Or at least parts of it will be true, relevant and pretty much a solid fact over perception but the skill comes from "data-mining" that wheat from the chaff in those cases. 

Personally, much of the historical information I have an interest in tends mostly to be true - for the moment. I still accept many facts as truth but remain open minded to additional research and speculations when validated to a certain degree because things are not written in stone and if they were it is still questionable. 

Anyway, history is fluid according to circumstance and human conditions so remain open minded and be willing to change when change is necessary to history so we can learn all we can. 

Ego Negation by Mark Tankosich

http://seinenkai.com/articles/tankosich/tankosich2.html

The Code (American Bushi-do)

Much like the Samurai of Ancient Japan who had their code of conduct, bushi-do, we also must have our own code to use as a guide in our lives and especially in the practice of the martial arts.

What I propose is to provide a set of guidelines (specifics should be addressed in procedures and practices of an association) to bring back the art of civility not only in society but in the community of martial artists.

This is not a code to dictate how one will act, it is not going to provide rules to follow or recriminations if you do not. I would base the code on "Giri" or "That which is hardest to bear". This code of conduct is to be provided so the individual can decide whether to follow them or not (Giri). It is a personal decision and choice much like the one we all made when we began our practice.

If it is not then it should be well known that the core of any activity be it work or an art form requires that one act in a manner that is accepted by society as a whole with the well being of that society as a primary concern. All to often that precept is lost in the pursuit of the ego or the self. I propose through these codes to provide a venue to those who choose to take this path so they may return to the core of any civil society, that of civility and kindness.

Let this be a code that as a fundamental precept of the fighting arts, creates a good, successful, and serene life, to instill a quality of life unparalleled anywhere. Let this guide you in creating a healthy effective way to a better quality of life.

Only we as a person of bushi can measure the success we have in life by the way we treat one another every day. This code of conduct is a means of guiding us on this truly noble endeavor. The code is based on respect, restraint, and responsibility toward society and the community (of fighting artists).

Let us forge and polish our souls and express it through our every word and action. Let it reflect our true identity and that of the community of which we are members; for with out we would have chaos.

We have a choice about how we behave! (The following will have reference to the martial art community yet upon removal you will find that it applies to everyone and everything)

The Code:

Code One: Never strike first. Assume courtesy and respect with appropriate kindness in all your personal encounters. No actions taken are with out consequences for others. Anticipate what those consequences will be and act accordingly. How we choose to respond dictates the outcome.

Code Two: Develop proper attitude in you daily life. Look inside yourself for ways to cope successfully with life's difficulties with out ignoring the outside world. Remain positive in every thought and with every deed.

Code Three: Pay Attention! When ever you encounter another you must "to attend to" or pay attention. Remain alert to the person, environment, and be diligent in attending to the appropriate changes necessary to create a positive outcome to the encounter. To pay attention is to demonstrate your expression to the other as a worthy person. Your acknowledgement of the person validates them and shows your desire to treat them as equals and establish them as worthwhile individuals.

Code Four: Keep vigilant in your encounters, actions, and/or deeds when with others to validate their existence, their importance in society, and their personal feelings.

Code Five: Always think the very best of others. Assume the best and act accordingly with out losing sight of positive awareness in case of a sudden change. Approach every encounter with others as if they are good, honest, and sensitive.

Code Six: Possibly one of the most important rules you can assume in life is to "Listen". Listening or lack thereof is the most common reason for conflict. Listen to the words and feelings; focus on the person communicating; let silence be your primary means of action; let go of your past experiences and be in the present moment; disregard all thoughts of the future and be in the present moment; concentrate on just listening before doing anything else; establish eye contact; let you body reflect the positive; let your voice, tone, and response be on the others comments, actions, body language, intent, and so on; don't rush to agree or disagree; simply show understanding.

Code Seven: Speak kindly and never speak ill of others. Be the person others speak of as the one who never uttered an unkind word. Let that be your legacy. Always keep in your mind that you are speaking/interacting with a living, breathing, vulnerable human beings; always remember the power of words. Remember:

* When we speak to anyone in a derogatory manner we hurt.
* It is a coward who resorts to the use of words or deeds to attack another.
* How we speak to others reflects on ourselves.
* If we are present when ill words are spoken we can leave, remain silent, say something positive, or openly communicate to the attacker as to what they are doing.

Code Eight: A fundamental rule of society; one that is relevant and important when ever one comes into contact with another; decent behavior is when we care enough not to make problems, ours or theirs, into either our or their problem. The way we treat others is always a reflection of our own self-worth. Respect is a corner stone of any one persons contact with another. Assume they deserve it and then give it whole heartily.

Code Nine: Care for others as if they were a guest in your home. Be hospitable to every one you meet or connect with even if only for the moment. Get to know others by listening and when you talk to them talk from the heart. Always be considerate of others, no excuses.

Code Ten: Refrain for taking action or speaking with out thinking twice. How you communicate can result in either a peaceful resolution or a combative one which can turn quickly into a physical altercation. Self-restraint means we ignore the ego and stay in the current moment with complete respect and regard for the opinions of others regardless of our assessments. The goal is to have an amicable meeting of the minds when two connect in today's society. Civility or lack thereof are major causes of anger, fear, and conflict.

Code Eleven: Don't try to shift responsibility or blame to others. Take complete responsibility for all of your actions be they verbal or physical. Your attitude and how you express it can be either acceptable to all or not. When not, then you have conflict. Conflict does not benefit anyone.

Code Twelve: Develop the courage necessary to be brave. Bravery and courage does not mean jumping into any confrontation with the desire to win at all costs. It takes one who has courage to avoid conflicts, to find alternatives to doing battle. To create relationships that end in proper balance for all concerned is the epitome of bravery and courage. Anyone can take up arms and do battle yet only the very bravest; those with the most courage; are able to overcome the ego within and to achieve peace and tranquility within and in society.

Code Thirteen: Create good will among those who you come in contact by providing the type of influence that creates camaraderie; a societal connection of benefit for all. Be a benevolent guide to your fellow man; influence them to influence themselves; become someone who creates a desire in others to become a better person and a complete part of the society in which we all live.

Code Fourteen: Conduct yourself with the highest morality and personal values necessary to influence others to follow the path of civility; kindness to others. To provide others with good example of morals, proper conduct, and the type of courtesy that leaves a favorable impression is a great achievement.

Code Fifteen: To conduct one's life with ideals of both truth and honesty is the highest achievement of a bushi warrior or a solid citizen of society.

Code Sixteen: Loyalty to self, loyalty to the group, loyalty to society is a hallmark of a true citizen who contributes to the betterment of society. This is not blind but with a true heart in creating a bond among each of us that transcends the ego and creates a feeling of belonging and benefits all.

Code Seventeen: Make it your goal to achieve within yourself humility, respect, righteousness, trust, loyalty, will, endurance, perseverance, patience, and courage as your standards in living. At least make a commitment to "Try" every day for your entire life.

Code Eighteen: Make it a personal goal to look within yourself with truth and honesty with the outcome of acknowledgement as to your own foibles; to make it your life's measure to achieve dominance over such foibles; to never allow them to lead you astray from the noble path you have chosen; to never allow them to create disharmony among others; make this a most important trait of your personality and try to achieve the goals of the code daily, moment by moment. Make this your presence as a personal present to yourself.

Code Nineteen: Remember tolerance at all costs. Lack of tolerance is unfair to others and opens the door to discontent, anger, and conflict. Put yourself in anothers position as if what you say or do effects you and act/adjust accordingly. To remember that everyone is a person; a human being; vulnerable; sensitive and no different than ourselves before you speak or act is important; do it.

Code Twenty: Keep your balance. Study, train, and practice to achieve balance or In-yo (Yin-yang). Create the one by achieving balance. The ability to achieve balance is a cornerstone of a serene life. Balance in mind and body. To achieve emotional balance leads to life's balance and allows us to follow the way through our code reflecting on others, on society, for all our benefit.

The goal of the code is not to dictate to others our own personal perspective of what is acceptable or not to an individual or society. It is a personal code for the individual thus is provided in as a generic form as possible to fit everyone. It is a simple guide that assists others in creating a personal life to live that is conducive to creating a society that is humble and serene.

Remember "Giri" or that which is hardest to bear. It is a personal obligation that no one can require of you but you yourself. If you don't feel it then you don't have it. No one will take you to task for not assuming the obligation. No one will come down on you. You must decide for yourself that this is the path you desire most and then stick to it under all circumstances, to the end of this life. Giri, assume it or not. Your choice, choose wisely.